


Your Hugs Can Never Harm Me

by syriala



Series: The Hug Series [17]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Season/Series 04, mentions of the dead pool, physical comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 21:04:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15715053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syriala/pseuds/syriala
Summary: Stiles was the connection.He had killed Allison and Aiden, however inadvertently it had been, but it had been the nogitsune wearing his body killing them. And since Scott still had troubles looking at him and Lydia still sometimes flinched away from his touch, it was clear the others thought that it had been him as well.And now Derek was on that list and Stiles couldn’t take it. He couldn’t be the reason Derek died, he wouldn’t be able to live with that.





	Your Hugs Can Never Harm Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Smowkie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smowkie/gifts).



> This is for Smowkie, because they binge read all of my Sterek fics and left me the sweetest comments!

When Lydia had typed in Derek’s name as the key for the third dead pool list, Stiles heart had stopped. Derek couldn’t die. But he was still losing his powers, Stiles knew that, and they didn’t have a solution for it yet. It was easy enough to imagine that it wouldn’t just stop at Derek’s werewolf powers but kill him in the process too.

Stiles’ hands were shaking just at the thought of it.

He had left Lydia shortly after, the need to see Derek and make sure that he was still alright was too intense for him to ignore, and he was in the jeep a few short minutes later. His hands were still shaking, the thought of Derek dying was too horrible to even contemplate, and he had to pull over halfway to Derek’s loft.

Stiles dropped his head to the steering wheel and took a few deep breaths in an attempt to get himself back under control, but it wasn’t working. He just couldn’t stop shaking.

Trying to distract himself he went over the other two names for the list, Allison and Aiden, trying to see the pattern in hopes of preventing the same fate for Derek. When he finally saw the connection between the two who were already dead, he had to get out of the jeep to throw up on the asphalt.

He dry-heaved long after his stomach was empty and when he was finally done, he slumped down next to the jeep.

Stiles was the connection.

He had killed Allison and Aiden, however inadvertently it had been, but it had been the nogitsune wearing his body killing them. And since Scott still had troubles looking at him and Lydia still sometimes flinched away from his touch, it was clear the others thought that it had been him as well.

And now Derek was on that list and Stiles couldn’t take it. He couldn’t be the reason Derek died, he wouldn’t be able to live with that.

So Stiles tried to put himself together again, suppressed the shaking in his hands and ignored the twisted feeling in his stomach, before he got back behind the wheel. When he drove this time, it was away from the loft.

He wouldn’t go to Derek, wouldn’t put him into danger like that, even if everything he needed right now was to see that Derek was still okay and alive, and when all he wanted was a hug. But it couldn’t happen, not when there was a chance that he could be the reason Derek would end up dead. Right now, the two names were only a coincident. Stiles wouldn’t allow it to become a pattern.

When he finally arrived home, Stiles still felt sick. The thought alone of Derek dying made his stomach grumble in warning and Stiles decided that curling up in his bed was the best idea. He couldn’t cause any harm like this either.

So he pulled off his shoes and jeans before he crawled under the covers where he curled up into a small ball. His stomach liked that position much better, and Stiles very pointedly did not think about Derek at all. It wasn’t long before he fell asleep.

When he woke up it was because his phone was ringing.

“’lo?” Stiles slurred, still half asleep but when he heard Derek’s voice everything came rushing back and he had to resist the urge to just hang up.

“Stiles, are you okay?” Derek asked and there was nothing but worry in his voice.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Stiles asked, hoping that he sounded calm and collected because otherwise Derek would show up at his house and then he would be in danger. Stiles couldn’t let that happen.

“I just ran into Lydia and she asked if you had already left again. You weren’t even here,” Derek explained, and Stiles silently cursed.

He shouldn’t have told Lydia that he wanted to check on Derek.

“I’m perfectly fine,” Stiles gave back but he could tell, even through the phone, that Derek didn’t believe him.

“Then why does it smell like you’re not?” Derek asked, and Stiles was startled when it suddenly knocked on his window.

“You need to leave,” Stiles said, not even turning around to look at Derek. “You can’t be here.”

“Why not?” Derek asked, his voice suddenly softer than it had been before. “What is wrong?”

“Your name is the key for the last dead pool list,” Stiles lowly said, and he could almost hear how Derek frowned.

“But the names so far were of people who died,” he gave back, and Stiles pressed his lips together for a moment.

“Yes,” he shortly said, because he was sure his voice would shake if he tried any more words.

“So why am I the key?”

“It’s someone who is going to die. Lydia typed in your name,” Stiles finally said, voice shaking like he had predicted.

“But I am not dead yet,” Derek said, clearly in an attempt to reassure Stiles, but it didn’t help.

“And if you want to stay that way, you need to stay away from me,” Stiles snapped at him, before he hung up on Derek and pulled the blanket over his head.

There was silence for a few seconds, before Stiles heard the window slide open and then Derek crawled into bed with him, curling an arm around Stiles and pulling him close.

“That makes zero sense,” Derek whispered into the hairs on Stiles’ neck and Stiles shivered.

“It’s me,” Stiles choked out when Derek just waited patiently. “I’m the connection between the names.”

“I still don’t understand,” Derek gave back, and Stiles turned around, suddenly furious that Derek couldn’t see it.

“I killed Allison, and I killed Aiden. I’m the reason they are dead. And I won’t be the reason you die, so get out,” he yelled and tried to shove Derek off the bed, and out of his room.

But Derek caught his hands in his, pressed them close to his chest, and didn’t even have the decency to pretend like it had been a struggle.

“You didn’t kill them,” he told Stiles, and pulled him close again, tucking him neatly under his chin. “The nogitsune and the oni did. It wasn’t even in your body at the point of their death. They are not on you,” Derek said with vehemence.

No one had ever stated it so clearly, that Stiles wasn’t to blame for those deaths, and he felt tears prick at his eyes. He closed them, trying to keep them from falling. Derek must have noticed them somehow though because he pulled Stiles that bit closer and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“They were not your fault. And I won’t die, so you don’t need to worry. I’m in perfect health,” Derek whispered into his skin and Stiles tangled his hands in Derek’s shirt, desperately holding on.

“Apart from where you’re losing your powers,” he gave back and felt Derek shrug.

“Well, yes, but since I haven’t dropped dead yet, I really am in perfect health.”

That might be true for now, but with how their lives were going, and with the bounty on Derek’s head, that could change every second.

Before Stiles could blurt that out though, he buried his face in Derek’s neck and slung his arms around Derek’s middle. Derek allowed the contact easily and everything in Stiles seized up at the thought that he would ever cause any harm to Derek.

“Stop that line of thinking, I can smell your despair,” Derek gently chided him, and dragged his cheek a few times over Stiles’ hair. “Is that the reason why you didn’t come over to get a hug?” he then asked.

“Yes. I didn’t want to put you in danger,” Stiles mumbled into Derek’s skin.

“To be honest, I don’t think you could ever put me in danger,” Derek gave back. “Your hugs are too good for that.”

“Maybe I’ll suffocate you to death with them,” Stiles weakly joked and pressed up when Derek dropped another kiss into his hair.

“Not a chance,” he gave back and started to stroke his hand up and down Stiles’ back. “Your hugs can never harm me.”

Stiles wanted to protest, because Derek couldn’t know that, but he felt safe, in Derek’s arms, and surrounded by his warmth and scent, and after the emotional day Stiles had, he quickly fell asleep again.

He was sure Derek would still be there when he woke up.


End file.
